Are you comfortable, or uncomfortable? I can assure you, it’s only going to get worse. (Look man, if they don’t want to be saved they’re just going to drag you down with them)

It's like a monster, wakes me up in the night, by the side of my bed, to put words in my head. Or a mirror, who's reflection unveils, the secret of life, and why we keep living. My plans are overtaken and my life overthrown. If there was a picture, of a steep cold mountain, exactly to scale, a gold idol to Baal. How many words, would that picture create, if given the chance, what would it relate? Well you don't understand now do you. My head is on fire, but I won't go to sleep, my dreams are more vivid, than the chains that you keep, close at hand to reel you in, if it gets too far out of hand, just know I've got to go, so sleep tight- go to bed. To slowly sift through, and then to contemplate, the memories in my brain, fog with flashes of pain. Then to recall, all my overshadowed victories, messages as bleak, as overbearing failure. My plans are overtaken, and my life overthrown, my resolve is shaken, my desire lost at home, but you don't understand now, do you... You don't know what to say, I don't know what to say, but I would not have it any other way.

I will not be compromised I will not be deified Fuck you and your dead end eyes I will not be sensitized I will not be pushed aside I will not see eye to eye Passing thoughts within I hide I will not be satisfied Let the waves roll over me, I’ll crash into the raging sea. Erode me, erase. Back to where it all began, my one true love my only friend. Stare into your eyes as deep, as skies above this raging sea. Part the oceans through my faith, in what can be achieved. And I Will run to you On the other side Waiting For you to see That I Parted the sea. You were never really there for me.

There’s a noticeable shift in key, When you talk to them, when you talk to me, This way there’s no way I’ll assume, I’m not totally dependent on you. You’ve always got to take away, Then dangle it just out of my reach, This way there’s no way I’ll assume, I’m not totally dependent on you. My faith in you is misplaced, Shift the truth to try and save face, This way there’s no way I’ll assume, I’m not totally dependent on you. Breath in with me Don’t question a thing The choices were made for you The basis of what you can do Breath out with me I took care of everything Don’t focus on what you cannot do Here’s the road I paved for you I’ll play along, I’ll play fetch for a while, I didn’t ask to be here, to be put on trial, (Do you wanna run away with me x2) I am packing my bags and getting food to eat. I’ve been planning for this moment for a thousand weeks. There’s no point in living and no future ahead, so I’m taking my chances on the road instead. Sneak out onto the back porch and look to the sky. Dawn’s coming early. How the time flies by. My heart picking up like a north bound train. I take three steps into the great wide open and it starts to rain. They’ll find me with false sympathy. I’ll bite the hands that fed me. Their false smiles will turn to frowns. If they ever see me, I will be put down. Do you wanna run away with me? Do you wanna run away with me? Do you wanna run away with me? Do you wanna run away with me? Do you...

People always want to say karma’s a bitch, but the truth is karma doesn’t really exist. Who needs accountability when you can blame the victim cause they’re weaker (or so you claim). If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be, and there is nothing up to me. I will keep supporting them, so I guess it’s you who has to leave. It’s your fault, your destiny, just shut up you have to leave. How could you do this to me? I for one would gladly leave. How could you do this to me? Why would you make me disbelieve? Shit is always going down behind the scenes and you just pretend that you can’t perceive it. You act like you’re just non-confrontational, but still have normal conversations with the one who did it all. He’s such a creep. He stared at me. HE’S USING YOU TO GET TO ME. You want someone to love you, from a certain point of view. My thoughts are so conflicted as I’m lying in my bed, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m fucked up in the head... The entire house is shaking as I listen from my room, crying cause you willingly led me to my doom. My body is shivering I’m cold as ice surrounding yellow wallpaper’s looking really nice... he hurt me Just fucking let me leave I see the shadows on the wall. Such lovely patterns I see them all. I see the shadows on the wall. Such lovely patterns I see myself in them all.

I sit alone outside, watching a shooting star. Just a dying speck of light, that hopes to light up someone else’s sky. Before it fades and dies. Just kidding, I see nothing. Goddamn it, I can’t see a thing. These artificial lights pollute the air with artificial shine, but still I’ll try to sing, into the void. I hate your face, leering eyes always staring at me. Waiting to find something to say, something that’ll cauterize the wound. Say something soon. Just kidding, I love your face. Eyes, ears, nose, everything. Even what you see as a blemish, it strikes me like electricity, and you’re not really even looking at me. (Maybe this time we will meet soon at a coffee place in the afternoon. Look! I just need one day to get you! Or maybe two... What’s that? What’d you do to me? Infecting all my daily dreams.) Just to be in your company. We don’t even have to talk about anything. Pretty soon I won’t feel good anymore, pretty soon this feeling will go away, I know I can’t be happy all the time But I sorta wish this feeling would stay...

I could climb the highest mountain, swim right across the sea. I could bathe in the purest fountain, Lord my God reign over me. I could walk through the valley of the shadow of death, trek across the scorching sand. I could brave the very fires of your heart, but in the end I am just a man. I am but a jar of Clay in your hands, mold me Lord that I might be. I am nothing but a vessel of your word, open my eyes that I might see. I am nothing but a drop in the sea, my thoughts are chafe in the wind. I am nothing but a puppet on your hand, my heart is yours to rend. You let the highest mountains crumble. You walked across the sea. Take every shout reduced to a mumble. Lord my God reign over me. You make my life a shallow darkness. What you see is what you get. The bloody water in the fountain, Bleeds out from legs of regret. I will always sing your praises, then my God I'll shout your name. As you rape my heart and soul, for you I will always be the same. I trusted you right from the start, you always had my interests at heart. (I always know just where you are, look above you I’m never far). Bury me a thousand feet deep in a form fitting coffin an inch shorter than me. Then at last I’ll finally feel free ecstasy and dread as deep as living for thee. you used an all seeing vision of the future you cannot comprehend to kill the soul you claimed you only wanted to save. You always were the only God I could see in 2020 vision, as you cut out my eyes to sacrifice your son atop a lonely hill for your God of all. Maybe you dreamed him up after all You always had wanted to kill me, I'm OK if you are I love you unconditionally. Like a good child should.

Locked in my room with dusty tomes to keep me company, alone in the dark. Outside my door a wicked storm is raging, its voices are haunting me. Distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December, when the one the angels name Lenore moved away. To the place where no one goes, until they are forced to. I wish I had the courage to meet her there. Locked within this sphere, this hell on earth. Spinning round this land of my birth. Only came down from the clouds now to find it’s too late, cause you’re gone. How can this be, I could not see, though you stand right before me. Like a ghost you passed right before my eyes into the night. You’re gone. What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? There’s nothing left, I’m leaving you. Remember when you said this was forever? Do you remember when I said that I agreed? We said we didn’t care what the world thought and wouldn’t believe the lies taught: that nothing in this world is made to last. I said, all the way up to the stars and back infinity times, but now it seems we both secretly knew it wouldn’t last, it’s too late, now the song is through, and we probably shouldn’t have danced so fast. Now it feels like no one understands me except you. I guess I never really trusted anyone, except who would stay up for hours talking to me at night, just to let me know that I was loved and didn’t need to fight. It was only six months of this strange and brief affair, but our souls burned brightly as we said we didn’t care. But we couldn’t believe the lies we told, and in our hearts we knew there would be nothing left. We are poets and dreamers, creators and thinkers, actors and portrayers, cause the world is a stage. We wrote our dreams down so they’d have somewhere to live, cause we sure as hell know our dreams are just that... Fantasies we come up with in our sleep and it seems so real you could almost reach out and touch it, but then it’s gone and all that’s left is the memory of what we wish with all our hearts our lives could be. Then little by little, and year by year, we suppress the dreams until they disappear. Because we need barriers to keep us from crying inside, but with each wall you put up a part of you dies. So is life, I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be, but when I was with you, I could simply be me. I pray to God you felt the same way too, I’ll never forget you. Or forgive you. We are like two sheets of paper that we glued together and then we came apart, but parts of you remain within me, until the universe dies, and the stars burn out, or until I forget you. I pray that I do, in a million years. Or tomorrow. F*** it, I never want to forget you, I think I just wish I never knew you. Actually, I don’t know what I think. We both saw it coming, yet in blissful ignorance did nothing, I think it was just the wrong place at the wrong time. You truly were the one whom the angels name Lenore, but now these thoughts corrode my mind forevermore. They come back to haunt me time after time and day after day, every minute every second since the angels flew away. The hardest part was telling Lenore we could never speak again, end of story, Nevermore.

I’m finding it difficult to sleep you see, for when I sleep then I dream and when I dream then I wake, and the dreams are most unpleasant. “I'm finding it difficult to sleep at night,” I said and instinctively knew you couldn't save me. People like you - people caught up in routine – as your way of placating yourself and numbing your soul. People like you just don’t UNDERSTAND. YOU DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND. You know something, there’s this weird paradox between feeling confident or not. Naturally I feel inadequate, unworthy, incapable, and like I fail at everything I try to do. I am self conscious, painfully awkward and self aware, to the point where I despise myself. The world tries to tell me these thoughts are unnatural and unhealthy, never mind the fact that this world is what made me think this way in the first place. But still I desperately attempt to fix myself and fit the required mold of confidence. I want to be cool and be accepted. So I force my thoughts down unfamiliar lanes, ones filled with appearances and impressions, clothes and possessions. I am calm, cool, collected, and never cry. I break rules and break hearts and I feel no remorse. I am now utterly beneath a mask and a complete egomaniac. No matter what I do, no matter what I care about, a sense of self loathing sets in... But nothing that I do could change how you see me, and nothing that you say could change the way I see myself. I'm restless but broke down, hungry but burnt out. I try to bend and contort myself into a more desirable shape for you. This page is but a single page in a whole story, but I'm failing math textbook pages with stupid rhymes, and I don't know exactly where I'm going, all I know is I don't want to be left behind.

So this is it. It all comes down to this. I hope that you enjoyed it, but somehow I doubt it. I missed it all. Isolated and degraded. Totally dehumanized, but I think it’s bound to change. Someday. I saw a man. He looked the other way. I felt him cringe, at the sight of me, What did you see? That scared you? And filled you with such hate, why can’t I just look the other way? Other way. All the way. Where were you? I look up and see my own life, a blank canvass torn in half. You stand there holding a knife, head thrown back in a forced laugh. Quickly now accelerate, turn my headphones up so loud. Running thoughts that percolate, bending backwards inside out. I can’t see my own reflection, creator’s lost his mastertapes. My brain just repels correction, the murky waters dissipate. I know this is what I want. I know this is what you need. Shut up and take your medicine. Shut up and know that I am alive. I can feel the weight upon me. Draining me and sucking me down. I saw a man. It tried to silence me. And he succeeded, the silence grew and grew. Eventually. It was heard around the world... Slowly but surely it deafened him. Deafened. Now you see, just who I am, at least until tomorrow, when I’ll change again. We don’t agree, but that’s alright, I’ll look you in the eyes, lie and say it’s fine. Like a kamikaze you, crashed into me, I see you trying... You’re trying too hard. To please, don’t force it. Let it all come down, let it burn into the ground, set it up in flames, then turn and walk away. I ain’t foolin’, we’re only human, and we were loosin’, from the start. Pick up the broken pieces, of your heart, I’ll try to mend them, if I can. What do you need me to be? What do you see? Come over, come over here. Let’s sail away, across the starry sea, see our faces, reflecting down on us. I just want to talk to you, I just want to look at you, your love will keep me sane. There is no one else but us, there is no one here but me, in front of this goddamn screen. So please, don’t force it. (reversed reversed message from god plays during next verse) A rotting carcass up in space, god has died and left the race, of humans, to fend for themselves. The stars are eyeballs looking down, the foam is red with silent sound, blackened trees crawling with lice, McMurtry has been hypnotized. I will just sit back and laugh as waves erode the aftermath of doomsday. I can see you dancing around as if there’s no one there. I can feel you smile or frown and know that you don’t care. (Let’s repeat it, and make it meaningless Let’s repeat it and make it mean nothing) I don’t believe in love at first sight but I’ll give it a try. Maybe I’ll come around the second time but god knows I won’t. Let’s repeat it, and make it meaningless Let’s repeat it and make it mean nothing Let’s repeat it, and make it meaningless Let’s repeat it and make it mean nothing Let’s repeat it, and make it meaningless Let’s repeat it and make it mean nothing Let’s repeat it, and make it meaningless Let’s repeat it and make it mean nothing Let’s repeat it, and make it meaningless Let’s repeat it and make it mean nothing at all. Let’s repeat it, and make it meaningless (I love you) Let’s repeat it and make it mean nothing (I love you) Let’s repeat it, and make it meaningless (I love you) Let’s repeat it and make it mean nothing at all! I love you I love you I love you I love you.